It was the night

It was the night that Hurricane Sandy began. It was raining and I was in the hospital taking care of Sam (my husband who was getting radiation treatment for cancer). My daughter Sara was giving me a hard time on the phone, she didn’t want to walk the dog.  I begged her to walk the dog even though the rain began, I guess I demanded she do it.  With much hesitation she agreed. Our black labradar retriever has so much energy he can’t stay inside for too long and the hurricane would only keep him inside for a long time.  My daughter took Sam out for a walk and never returned.  My daughter was killed instantly by a fallen tree and I never saw her again.   I have so much regret and shame and guilt that I will never be able to heal.  I made her take the dog out for a walk and it’s all my fault.  It’s hard to live with myself.